August 16, 2024

Hi!! Although this is a normal interval to update my blog, I do feel from my perspective its been a terribly long time. Usually I update my website 5-10 times a month, and then I post one blog a month, but I haven't updated this thing at all! I've felt quite lazy lately to be honest. I have been drawing a fair bit, but nothing else. No websites, no lanuages, no writing, no music, whatever. Its way after I got back from my trip, I should feel refreshed by now.. but alas. I guess it makes sense. College starts in a week and a half, and along with taking 3 classes, I'll be working part time. I am not really surprised or mad at myself for resting as much as possible before all these responsibilities set in. Ahhh

Yesterday I had an insightful conversation with a longtime friend of mine. He had stopped talking to me in the last year, and I knew he didn't completely hate me since we kept in some touch, but I asked him directly what happened. He was straightforward and honest, telling me about how frustrating some of my behavior had been during the 2023 fall college semester (the last time we'd really spoke). It was all completely justified, and so I've been pondering quite a bit the last few days. I know I have flaws, obviously, but no one is ever direct about them, so I am prone to unknowingly feeding them more and more until it causes some breaking point for those around me. Point is, I now know a few things I need to work on about myself and I am feeling pretty hopeful. He said he didn't hate me, but just couldn't deal with those things at the time, and I think thats reasonable.

I relistened to the Magnus Archives, which unsurprisingly has become a huge hyperfixation for me. I decided to start relistening to it on the flight back from DC on the 13th, and I managed to finish all 200 episodes in 28 days. Its a bit silly to say, but I am a bit sad it replaced my hetalia hyperfixation so quickly... That one was no where near burning out, I probably couldve liked it for a few more months without getting bored. Its somewhat hard for me to balance my interests LOL, I typically like one media at a time. Ill see art or analysis of my other interests online and go :D but ultimately it does not strike in me that strong a sense of excitement.. anyways anyways. I'll be working on a Magnus shrine page today so you can hear more of my thoughts there :)

My friend Skylar started working on their own site more, which is fun to watch. Shes tried a few times unsuccessfully, as she found html hard and frustrating, but its finally clicked and shes been working on her site nonstop the last week. It is inspiring to me, mostly as we have very different visions of ours sites. Mine is just a personal site to harbour my interests, thoughts, and stuff, but hers is more creative? There are stories within the pages, almost like a game, and secrets to be found. All the pages have very different themes and contents, which is cool to me. I've felt somewhat limited on my own site at times because I keep the same header at the top of each page - its hard for me to make major aesthetic differences on each page. But I like seeing how they work on their site.

College starts soon, I'm a bit nervous. I'm taking 3 classes this semester- my last 4 I've only taken 2. Of course that was because I was dualenrollment in highschool, but I am a tad concerned if I'll be able to keep up with the workflow. I am taking music theory, intro to psychology, and a modern history class. I chose (presumably) easier, chiller classes as a test for my workload since its my first semester as a real college student. Music theory I hope will help me finally get into music, psychology is an extension of my interest in sociology now that I've taken quite a few soc classes, and I've been aching to take a history class for a while now. My college is unfortunately lacking in history and geography classes - The geo class I wanted most was during the same block as my music theory class, so I had to compromise for a history class that interested me slightly less.