January 27th, 2025

First entry of 2025! My year has been a mixed bag for reasons I'll get into, but I'm very optimistic for the year :)

School-wise, I started taking the core classes for my new major (Computer information sciences). I was extremely scared of my first semester after switching LOL. I am very very good at school, but its all stuff I've been doing for years. I know how to write an essay, I know how to study for a math or history class, I know how long it takes me to do assignments. But in a computer class?? For half the subjects, I genuinely know nothing about them! I was petrified! But its actually gone extremely well. I have web authoring, networking, and database design - I obviously know a good bit of html, but networking and database designs are something I couldn't even give you a definition of before the last 2 weeks. I've been doing great so far and most of the concepts come to me pretty intuitively. I also have, somehow, ENJOYED doing my homework for these classes... I think as a good academic student, I was just bored of doing the same english, history, science and math stuff I'd been doing my whole life. So these new types of assignments have been very stimulating and interesting for me.

I have a looot more free time this semester. I have had the self control to complete assignments the day they're assigned and have my weekends completely free. This means I've had more time to hobbymaxx (and I was doing this on winter break too) than any previous semesters. I've been studying my languages, drawing, writing, making music, listening to new albums, etc etc at the same pace I was during winter break :D I fucking love having busy, productive days.... I don't see taking breaks as taking a bad thing so I always have ample breaks between tasks and also usually 1 day a week I just chill the fuck out, so I rarely get burnt out. I love having so many different hobbies to choose between :) I picked up journalling and knitting again, which have both been very relaxing for me.

I haven't used twitter in 3 weeks also :3 I haven't been on social media in general - no instagram or tumblr, except to post art. Its been interesting. I have a lot of downtime and haven't quite figured out how to fill it yet.. like 60% of my old social media time is now used for hobbies, etc, but that 40% I do genuinely just stare at the wall and do nothing. I guess thats just what life was like before technology ...? Anyways because of this, I've been talking to my friends more one on one which has been very rewarding. I made a discord server for my friends in December and it has miraculously lasted over a month. I dm people more often. I hang out with my irl best friend every week, and we've been going to more raves and parties. I feel super socially fulfilled..

This all sounds super good, so what have the bad parts been?? Well, firstly, since I got my IUD my periods have been 8 days instead of my usual 2!! When I'm on my period I feel so gross, I get emotional talking to people, I don't feel like doing anything. I'll hopefully return to my usual periods in a few months but, ugh, it sucks right now. I've also been fixing my sleep schedule which is a bit of challenge.. The first week or 2 i always feel sooo tired. I have had a few days this month where I was a zombie who laid in bed all day because I was too exhausted to do anything, but couldn't sleep or nap. Luckily I'm out of that now and should STAY out of it if I keep my sleep schedule good.. I've been waking up at 6-8 everyday :).

The other meh thing is with my partner. They live an hour and a half away so I just go over to see them twice a month. Which was fine during the school year, I'd go over for 3 days and be fine. But I was there for 6-7 days at a time during winter break. Which was awesome while I'm there! But then the week afterwards, we don't talk as much as usual. This is reasonable!!! Like I also don't feel that compelled to talk to them constantly after I see them, and I understand that for them too. But unfortunately I am still a disordered bitch so, I have had quite a few freakouts about feeling like they didn't love me anymore, that they were ignoring me, stuff like that. We talked about it a few times and I feel better now. They fixed the specific things that were bothering me, but it did eat up a lot of time this month. When I feel like this, it can be difficult for me to do anything for hours and I end up crying for hours on end. This worked in conjunction with my extended period and I spent almost a whole week crying and feeling like they hated me. But this was a temporary issue, so I'm still pretty excited for the year.