March 28th, 2024

Hello.... Wow I have a lot to share. This month hasn't been very good, or a mixed bag at best. My mom relapsed on meth, and now has a bunch of Stuff going on that I don't fully know the details to because it changes everyday. She lost her car and phone so its hard to keep in contact with her. She shows up at our house randomly despite living 5 miles away. She went to detox for one day, then came back for 3 days, then was at the hospital for 2 days, and I don't.. even know at all. She got her kittens seized by the animal shelter, I think her apartment is in limbo too because the place she lives has a strict no drug policy. I think that sucks - I think putting a lot of recently addicted, formerly homeless people in one building and instantly taking away the only housing they've had in months because they relapsed for an ADDICTION is unfathomably shitty. Its causing a lot of emotions around my mom, and the trailer, and everything from the last 4 years to bubble. My general mood is just.. low.

Its been hard to get myself to do things. Not having highschool leaves me with a lot of free time, and I've been to ill to really take advantage of it. I've been trying to get a job, but I've gotten 2 rejections and countless no-responses. I went to the job fair today and didn't find many opportunities either. I REALLY need a job, I need to be able to pay for my trip this summer, my freelance commission work isn't going to cut it. But at the same time, maybe it'd be better if I focus on getting my license and passing college. After I turn 18 in July, there will be a LOT more job opportunities available to me (dude its insane, even many minimum wage retail/food type jobs in my area require you to be at least 18???). I don't know. I need to talk to my dad about what is pheasible. If I don't get a job, he'll be the one helping pay for it, but he's also saving for his own trip next year and I don't want to take all his money. Ugh.

I rewatched hetalia. Its been fun, I got super hyperfixated on it n drew 20 drawings for it in a week lol. I think my mind is trying to hold onto old comforts & things from my past - I loved hetalia in 6th grade. Its fun to see my current takes on things I remember liking/disliking years ago. The major changes are idgaf about the nordics now (used to be the only guys I cared about.. insane) and Love all the baltic & slavic countries. I'm also a lot more critical now that I'm not Ten Years Old and can see a lot more of the flaws in the series. Simultaneously though, I don't think it deserves quite as much hate as its gotten over the years. It was a bit embarassing to tell all my friends that was what I liked right now but I did anyways and no one seems to really care.

On the 26th I went to the glass beach concert with Maddie!! We talked a lot in the car and at the concert, I had a really good time My other friend Mina had planned to go, but couldn't make it. I had a LOT of fun, it was such a good concert & I really enjoyed meeting Maddie. Meeting my internet friends is always so much fun, and its cool since she's from a discord server of my close friends that I've already met 2 of em irl already, so I'm like collecting my discord server friends hehe. If there's another concert we both want to go to, probably car seat headrest, we plan to do this again. Her house is really conveniently on the way to Denver from our house so it works perfectly. I also met a cool person at the concert, we exchanged twitters & discords n talked a little bit. I hope to talk w/ them more, they've been really fun so far :3



Hehe i keep meaning to put more images in my blog posts, finally I've done it lol.